I've been stalling to write this.... but a lot of you all have been asking why I haven't been blogging, and checking up on me, so I thought I'd write this to my friends, family, followers of the blogs, Twitter, and Facebook friends, who all have been showing love, and support.First I want to thank you all for sending all the love and support during this difficult time. It amazes me that even people you meet through social networking sites make time to check up on you, to keep you in their prayers. Like you all didn't have to that. For those of you who are unaware of the situation, last Tuesday, Nov 15, they found the body of my little brother. My mind races with questions, we'll never really know the answer to, and I think that's why this is still not real to me.
My heart is heavy. And the migraines are more painful then they've ever been. This overall pain is indescribable, and internally I'm struggling with dealing with this. But I have to be strong for my family, and my brothers friends. I'm a couple years older than Jamon, so all his friends are turning to me.
I want to especially thank my all of my family; the Hickems, and the Leonhards.
Along with my God Sister Kenz, my best friends Tanisha, Alexis, Shauntel, Lamya, and Sha'day. You girls came together for me when I needed you most, despite the distance we've all had these last few months. This really strengthened our friendship. Also, to my brothers Renzo, and Dee: I love you guys, and we're going to get through this together. To Libby, Sam, Tori, I'm here for you, just like James was here for you.
And to the rest of you all, for there's so many, just know we'll get through this. The pain your feeling, I feel the same. I know the nights are the worst. I know the smallest everyday things remind you of him. I know. I may appear strong, but I've never felt so weak. Some days are harder than others. But we'll get through this, one day at a time. If you ever need to talk to me, you know how to reach me. You all are in my prayers just as I am in yours, because Jamon had a place in all of our hearts, and his absence is felt greatly.
I went to Hickman High today, and seen the signs, and artwork you all posted around the school, and it amazed me how many people cared for my brother, and how many friends he has. Although it brought tears to my eyes, it made me smile at the same time. I'm thankful for you all.
Some of you may feel that you don't know what words to say to me, but know that you don't have to say anything at all. We all just have to be there for each other. Reflect on your own lives, and live for today. One thing we can all say, is that Jamon had a fun life, and lived it to the fullest. Do what makes you all happy. Be there for your friends and family, as Jamon was for you when you needed. Never hesitate to tell someone you love them.
Time will only heal this pain. I have love for you all, and I appreciate you all. I read your messages, and see the texts and calls, I may not respond right away, but eventually I will.
That said, the blogs will start again sometime in the next month or so. And I'll be back to tweeting the basketball commentary you know and love. Lol. It's just going to take some time; some time to restore order in this world of mine. Thank you again for your prayers, and love.
R.I.P. James Edward Hickem III
September 19, 1994 - November 15, 2011